The 16th marks 4 months since my breakup. A date stamped in my mind and on my heart. One that’ll be there for a while, but just like any memory, it’ll fade until it’s just another day. As time passes, I won’t be certain of the day, maybe a good guess if I’m lucky, but eventually it won’t leave its mark on me like it does now. It’s not a day to be celebrated, but a day to remember what was. It’s a day that signifies how far I’ve come. A day none-the-less that is painful, but more importantly it’s a day I’m thankful for. Thankful because I’m a better, stronger person from it all.
Being single isn’t a place I thought I would be in again, and truthfully didn’t want to be in again. In my heart, I believed I had found the one. A check mark next to husband on my ultimate list of things to do…erased. Now, he’s just another person, another face in the crowd, a sweet memory who left his mark on me. He’s someone I will never forget nor do I want to. For a while, I prayed for him to come back – it’s all I wanted. I was on my hands and knees begging God to fill the emptiness in my heart. However, like I’ve said before, God doesn’t give us what we want, He gives us what we need. Luke 12:31 says, “seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need.”
Woman was created for the man – we were created to be a helper fit for him. “Then the Lord God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” … “So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and He brought her to the man.” Genesis 2:18; 21-22. I think it’s only natural to long for, to desire, a husband. Quite frankly, that’s why we’re here – to be joined with man to help him. But, do not sit around and wait for him. Being single can be a powerful opportunity (a gift from God). It’s an opportunity to grow within, gain independence, become closer to God, to learn, to appreciate, and to lead.
To all single women (and even to the taken ones), your capabilities are not determined and are not measured by your relationship status. You do not need a man in your life to be considered competent or to be valued or to be great. Do not confuse your desire for a husband with the purpose God made you for. Yes, it is okay to want a husband, but don’t let that desire become your purpose. Please do not become a slave to the approval or acceptance of a man. As long as you’re searching for love somewhere on earth from someone other than God, you will always be wanting more – you will always be searching for more. So yes, being single sucks, but fulfilling God’s purpose for you is far better than being in a relationship that hinders that.
Being single isn’t always fun… I know. I’ve tasted the sweetness of a kiss on the forehead, a good morning text, to love and be loved. There are times I so badly crave it. I miss the connection, the bond, with another person. I miss the security of knowing I was home in someone else’s arms. I miss having someone to tell about my day. I miss having someone’s hand to hold. I miss having a person who was all mine. I miss it all. And I can choose to sit around and agonize over all these things that I no longer have, or I can choose to let these desires fill me with hope for what I’ll someday have again. So yes, being single sucks, but it’s a reminder of all that God has in store.
For the first time in many years, I’ve had to be strong for myself.. Happy for myself.. I’ve had to simply just wake up and go about my day for myself.. I’ve had to learn to separate my life from our life. I’ve had to learn that being alone isn’t a bad thing. I’ve really had to open my heart, and let God take the reigns. But through it all, I’ve bettered my relationship with Christ. Flourishing happens where we seek the Lord, and that’s exactly the outlet God has given me. I’ve found a new love for myself, and a deeper love for Christ. So yes, while being single sucks, a relationship with God is a relationship I’ll take over any I could have with any man.
So for all the single women, take this time to love yourself fully, and to learn new things about yourself. This is only a part of your life, not the rest of your life. There will come a day that the man God created for you will walk into your life, and it will all make sense. And you’ll realize that being single didn’t suck so bad after all, because being in a relationship with the wrong man is worse than being single.
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You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:4
“He has to prepare you for the person He has prepared for you.” – unknown
“Place your heart in the hands of God and He will place it in the hands of a man who He believes deserves it.” – unknown
“You are the woman some man is praying for.” – unknown
xo, Madison
GRACEFULLY LOVED 